It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
