my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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