just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize