Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
