I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
