I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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