This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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