Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
