She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
