i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
