So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
