But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize