in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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