I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
