I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize