butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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