What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
