i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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