She's JV to your varsity
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize
