Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
