I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
