fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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