you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
