I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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