thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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