just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
