it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
