i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
