all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
