mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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