hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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