I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
