There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
