When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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