is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
