I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
