Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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