SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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