Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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