Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
