I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
