If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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