She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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