K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
