remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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