This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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