why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
