Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
