dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
