Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
