White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
