I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
