butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Houston, we have a squirter
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
