people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
