If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
