Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize