god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think my nap took me to another dimension
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
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