I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
