We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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