i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
