I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
