One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
