Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize