feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
