weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
