you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
