Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
