wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
